Rudolf Steiner School

The Significance of a Simple Handshake
by Nick Van Sant, Grandparent, Alumni Parent and Former Class Teacher

The students at the Great Barrington Rudolf Steiner School have an experience all too rare in the course of modern education— they are loved. Yes. You heard me right. I mean the “L” word. More has been discussed and written about love than almost any other subject. Our precious English language has given many meanings to the word. Think of the contexts in which it is used:

I love the warm yellow of the walls in the lobby.
I love seeing you stand up for what is right.
I love Sallie’s lasagna.
I love the episode in Huckleberry Finn when the boys attend their own funerals.
I love you.

Parents, children, lovers, friends, patriots and priests all love in their myriad ways. In all of these feelings there is a process that begins with a recognition of the object of affection. We have to see, hear, taste, touch or smell what we will love. Then there must be an appreciation of the object, in which we measure it against an ideal or expectation and decide we feel fondly toward it. Finally, there is a deepening of the feeling that takes place over time.

Allow me to give you a particular instance of how love is engendered at the Great Barrington Rudolf Steiner School: the handshake. At the beginning and end of every school day, the class teacher gives each student her hand in a simple handshake. But this gesture is not so simple if we consider it closely.

You may think the handshake the most casual of greetings. And sometimes it is, if we forget the smile, the tip of the head, the wink, or “Mornin’.” The handshake is used in many first meetings, and it has been the “manly” greeting in America for centuries. Today it is often superceded by the hug (even among us men), or by the kiss, indicating a hierarchy of intensity of feeling. But for our students and their teachers, the handshake is much more.

The tradition in Waldorf schools is for teachers to greet each student with the open hand. This mutual touching is an occasion to recognize and be aware of the other. Much can happen through this greeting. We can feel the warmth of the hand, the pressure of the grip. We can use the moment to regard the face and eyes of the other. Small pleasantries or information can be exchanged. The teachers are very intentional with the handshake—here is what they bear in mind for those three to six seconds that begin and end each day.

Recognition. The teacher sees the student, touches him, pauses to recognize him, and speaks the child’s name (and the child is called on to reciprocate). There is a meeting hand-to-hand, and eye-to-eye, that consciously and unconsciously can exchange a world of meaning.

Appreciation. The teacher takes in the student’s appearance, mood and energy—how is she today in comparison with previous days? How is the child growing and changing? What might be expected of her today? Much can be learned in a moment.

Affection. That handshake is offered every morning irrespective of the events of the prior day—regardless of the trials of waking, rising and getting to school. An effort is made twice each day to go beyond the slings and arrows of daily life, and to open oneself to the other. In the morning the teacher holds in mind the thought, “Welcome to a new day! I see you and call on you to be your best, just as I will strive to be my best. I am glad to see you and to have this chance to work, play and spend time together.” At the end of the day, the meditation is, “That was today; for good or ill it stands. Tomorrow will be a new day for both of us.”

Deepening. Through hundreds of small meetings such as this, true affection can grow. Cycles of recognition, appreciation and affection constantly work to help each person value the other human being and to value the human being in himself. This is one of the foundations of true human love. So despite the ups and downs of experience, the triumphs and defeats, the joys and irritations, the intent at schools like ours is to foster the growth of love among people.

It is said that when Rudolf Steiner visited the classes of the first Waldorf school he asked the children, “Do you love your teacher?” The children answered with a resounding, “Yes!” Though Steiner’s question may at first seem strange, I have come to see the wisdom in such questions.

Have the children come to be able to love outside their own families? Have the teachers been able to foster love by offering it in the first place? The teachers work here to model enthusiasm for the world, to reveal knowledge of the world, to demonstrate creativity, celebrate living, and show how love can be engendered. Sometimes it comes easily. Sometimes it is hard to see or feel. Sometimes it takes great effort.

Children who have been loved through the years in this way continue to grow in sensing love and giving love. They become adept at finding it and creating it—and stand poised to benefit the world with their capacity for loving.